Don't Look Back

            Hi Everyone, You need to know where I've come from. A great middle-class family. Mom did hair. Saw Dad every other weekend. I always excelled in school! I made a decision to take my Cosemetology course classes while i was in high school so although challenging, because that met no cheer, no vollyball I did it tho! 1500 hours and I had my licence when I graduated high school! In 1999. off to what I thought was gonna be a great head start at life!  And I was living my fairytale. I was manager at A Fantastic Sams where I met my Husband to be but about 7 years into doing hair full time problems started coming..  I began to have back pain and numbness the (scrolosis) degenerate disc disease was already setting in at 25 yrs old. When I was referred to a pain clinic and to start getting cortizone shots in my back every 3 months. Then the hands and toes would go numb (carpal tunnel in both wrists). I moved from Fantastic Sams and started working as an independent contractor for a high class Salon with my own clients setting my own prices paying booth rent making great money. I worked thru the pain or began to self medicate trading pain pills(oxycotin)and (Vicoden) for hair services from close clients. Absolutley awful! But it didn't end there. Eventually my tollerance grew, and pills got to be too much $ all along Mom had been doing them too. I found out she was shooting them up. I was so disappointed as she would lose job after job, I would ask Mom why are u doing that why don't you just chew up the pill!? she would tell me "you don't know what its like and until you do I don't wanna hear it!." I would just shake my head in discust and disbelief. Well need less to say the time finally come she caught me on a weak day both in our addiction in my bathroom she took my hand put a needle with Herion in it  and it was over from there, now I was 27 And an old enough woman to make my own choices, but till the day she died she held onto that regret! I was on the races for 10 years living between TX. and MI. living a fast life of stealing, breaking the law in more ways then 1 just creating a terrible record for myself causing me to get extradited twice across the US that's another story! But finally it took me almost dying and my only daughter being ripped from my arms before I would change my life. My mom was actually the one who took me into the first hospital Toledo where they said if I were to have waited another few hours I might have died I was so weak, they put me right into intensive care where they couldn't get a handle on my blood presure it was so low. Staph Infection had taken over my body so badly. 13 days in I had come to my senses and was so worried about my daughter that I left the hospital against doctors orders. Little to know this is how God works 5 days later C.P.S. was at my door with the local police to pick up my daughter. My heart was broken! Although I was becoming so weak again I couldn't even lift her this infection was eating my body alive! So off I went this time to Ann Arbor, MI Hospital They said automatic   strait antibiotics no interruptions this is life or death its going to you're heart. 2 weeks in out of nowhere blood started coming from my mouth all of a sudden I couldn't breathe I was having a pulmonary embolism it was the Scariest feeling of my life I felt like I was drowning in my own blood. After that the heart doctor came in and said you're gonna need a Heart valve replacement at 39 yrs old. He didn't wanna do it right away as he wanted to see if I would stay clean otherwise what's the point? 

When that 6 weeks was over I was on the mission of my life and did not look back! My sister had my baby Thank God! As long as I could drop a clean drug test 3x a week I could visit her every day. and I did for 30 weeks. I had a tall list from straightening out my legal situation to getting my license back psych. evals. councleing. and more! but I did it all. In 7 months I had my little girl back! Now I'm just a single mom with my beautiful daughter Ariel. I'm 4 years clean. I have my Peer Support Certificate. I went back to School for a Substance Abuse Counciler. And I just want to give back! I specifically want to work my mission towards women and children, I believe I can help!