Ive had it rough the last couple years and its impossible to explain in 220 characters but heres a short version... Engaged, baby, hope, died, lost, nobody, tried, failed, gave up, hit bottom, woke up, asking for help...
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It says to tell a story, but im not gonna tell you A story, im gonna tell you MY story. Ok, right before Covid really hit, i had just gotten out of a very abusive relationship which i literally had to run away from... like she went to work and i packed as much of my stuff as i could carry in 2 bags and just left. Then Covid, lost my job, my house, basically everything, but somehow ended up meeting someone while summer was winding down. She was a nurse with a crazy job and i just kinda considered myself a loser so i had zero fears gong into it but she never judged me once and we fell in love. I knew i was going to marry her one day so i just asked her on the beach one night and she said yes!! We went to Florida to start over but ran out of money and had to come home, 2 month later shes pregnant, we got over our little squabbles and instantly became parents. First doctor visit, bad news, something was wrong and if we had the baby there was like a 7% chance theyd both live, so we decided to abort. 2 days later we were talking and somehow the baby came up and we realized we didnt want to abort, wed do whatever it took but wed have this baby! In less than 24 hours shed be dead... we agreed to meet somewhere and when i got there she never showed, i stuck around for a bit but eventually went home, theres a LOT more to this story but ill keep it short, I got a message from her but no response when i messaged her back, this happened for a week, then i went on FB and her cousin messaged me all yelling saying if i loved her so much why was she dead?!?! I lost it obviously, went home and kept looking for thing online but saw nothing... I eventually got in touch with her other cousin who told me yes, she had passed away and i wasnt told about anything because her immediate family assumed i had something to do with it!! I missed everything... i got zero closure at all, even had her creamated so theres no stone for me to visit, nothing. When i told my family not one of them even said im sorry and i was a wreck, i spent the next year basically just drinking, crying, and sleeping. They had christmas and thanksgiving without me, but in the same house... while i was crying in my room alone the entire family was right outside my door enjoying themselves and ignoring the fact that i was thinking about joining her, but once my nephew who was 3 came in and they ushered him away telling him i was sick, and i said id stick around to one day tell him the truth and why Aunt Brittney wasnt around anymore. Anyways, that was a couple years ago and i still havent found my footing yet, ive kinda been seeing someone else but shes been selling herself sometimes so we can get by and i want it all to just end so we can both just get back on our feet and be proud of ourselves again... thats why im asking for help. Its just to pay off some debts and get us an apartment somewhere where we can forget our past and move forward... thank you for even getting this far. If you want to hear more of what happened ill tell anybody anything, im a decent human being and i just want the opportunity to be happy again, i promise i wont squander it
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